I wring out the washcloth from the ice-cold bowl of water and gently wipe the beads of sweat from her brow…cheeks…neck…and turn it over as I lay it across her heart chakra. My hand open on top of the cool cloth, reminding her to breathe into the heart space so that the energy which is breath can move through her, opening the cervix in front of her baby’s head. I feel the muscles tense, her brow furrow, as yet another wave begins to build. She surrenders to the power of her body, the unleashed strength that transforms women into mothers coursing through her. She moans the deep guttural sound of so many women before her (you know, the one I demonstrate in my birthing classes and no one ever believes they’ll make when they’re in labor). Trust me, this sound comes from the ages of successful mothers who have come before us and it will still ring out in the generations to follow.
“This isn’t stronger than you because it IS you” I whisper to her, reading one of her Affirmation flags that she naively prepared for this day. This surge begins to release, and as it does the quiet supporters around her swiftly come to action. Her husband gets the water, placing the bendy-straw near her lips for when she is ready for a sip. I dunk the washcloths in the ice water again, one across her shoulders and the other as before, wiping her. “That one did it’s work, now pay attention to the REST, that’s it….cleansing breath and blow it all away”.
That is how labor is done - one breath at a time, one wave of contractions at a time - because that is all we can handle -
one. at. a. time.
And then, rest.
A lot is happening in this world of ours. Some of those things have made midwives and home births very popular this year. While driving this week, after my 4th crazy birth in a row, I caught myself with hunched shoulders and a tight jaw and sore boobs from using a pump instead of my sweet baby to drain them and tired (so tired!). My life is bursting with the exuberance of 5 energetic children, a husband who holds down the fort like a hero and puts his connection needs on the back-burner to let me nap, a few non-midwife businesses and all the other details of life that press in…….and I heard my words,
“pay attention to the rest”.
Yes. I can breathe into the heart space and make room for the next contraction of life and I can use that breathe to pay attention to this moment. This one where I’m driving and feeling much older than I did at 35. I have twenty minutes to find solidarity with my mind and body - tune in to the strength that is around me propelling me through the labor of life and the power within me, calling me to quiet peace. I can capture those thoughts that are overwhelmed with knowing the moment I walk in my front door, humans of varying sizes are going to bombard me with love and affection - looking for eye contact and connection whilst my eyelids are heavy from no sleep. But now. Now is what I must pay attention to or else I simply won’t make it to see the joy on the other side.
Life is a lot like labor. There are cycles and waves. There are periods of sleeplessness, but sleep will come. There are times of darkness, but light comes in the morning. There are times of fire and smoke, but rains will bring refreshment. There are times when my house looks like a tornado married an earthquake, but mess cleans up. There are times when paying bills brings panic and others when there is ease. And, like labor, we must breathe into the pain, uncertainty and fear because we do not know how long we must labor for. So, we must take the contractions of life
one. at. a. time.
And then, rest.
Friends, there is so much right now. We may not have a lot of break between contractions and fullness of life. In labor it may only be 2 minutes between the surges - but those two minutes can sustain a woman through hours and hours of labor if she can pay attention to them. In this unsure time - let us all pay attention to the rest.
